I belong to a lot of online single parenting/co-parenting groups and have seen and even responded to some of the same types of questions asked when it comes to sharing financial responsibility of children with your ex. Whether that’s through child support or reimbursements for extracurricular activities and medical. Doing so takes two and both parents must share the costs.
When parents separate, one thing remains unchanged, both are still financially responsible for their children. Co-parenting is about more than just sharing time; it’s also about sharing the costs that come with raising kids.
Too often, child support is viewed as the only financial obligation, but that’s simply not the case. Yes, child support is important, it helps cover a portion of the basic day-to-day needs. But so are extracurricular activities, school events, sports fees, and other opportunities that enrich a child’s life.
Why Both Matter
- Child Support helps provide stability, food, housing, clothing, and other essentials
- Extracurricular Contributions help kids grow, learn, and thrive beyond the basics. Sports, arts, academic programs, and lessons are not “extras”. They’re investments in a child’s development and happiness
When one parent refuses to share these costs, it isn’t the other parent who suffers the most, it’s the child. Opportunities get missed. Passions go unexplored and kids will notice when they can’t participate in the same activities as their peers.
I get it, our children cannot participate in everything they want because of the costs associated with it. I refuse though to accept excuses of “I can’t afford it” but then have no problem going on European getaways, expensive trips to the salon or non-essential luxury items such as delivery and lawn service. Some of these extracurriculars can really help a child’s development. Feel free to call it what you want, but do not tell any child “it’s too expensive” when it’s not the case. Just be honest.
The Legal Side
If a legal parenting plan or court order states that certain expenses are to be split or reimbursed within a certain timeframe, it is just as binding as a child support order. Ignoring these obligations isn’t just unfair, it’s a violation of a legal agreement.
Reimbursements aren’t “optional.” They’re a way to make sure both parents are contributing to the financial side of raising their children, not leaving the burden to one parent.
The Bottom Line
Co-parenting means teamwork, even when you don’t live under the same roof. Fulfilling both child support obligations and extracurricular contributions ensures kids have what they need to succeed in every area of life.
When parents refuse to meet their agreed-upon financial responsibilities, they aren’t punishing their ex, they’re limiting their own children.
If you truly want what’s best for your kids, that means showing up financially as much as you do emotionally.
